I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
