Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
