Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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