You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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