New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
