I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
