If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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