you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
