she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm at about main and main street
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
