im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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