you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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