He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
