We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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