We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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