best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize