I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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