I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
