I need help removing her.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
