Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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