When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
