I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Randomize
