The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Randomize
