How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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