What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
