I wish I could punch you in the face.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
