Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
