You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
