um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
