i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
