WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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