Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
