Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Pooping to opera.
Randomize