he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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