Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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