Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
love makes seman taste better
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
