I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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