she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
