my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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