i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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