Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
This girl is more easily done than said...
its not stalking. its research.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
