BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
