When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
