Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
