Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart

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(925): View more from California

So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.

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(818): View more from California

Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around

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(714): View more from California

IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.

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(559): View more from California

I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.

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(512): View more from Texas

If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.

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(559): View more from California

But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?

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