I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.