you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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