a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?