Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club

(810): View more from Michigan

I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds

(810): View more from Michigan

Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!

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(313): lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club (810): I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds (810): Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies! http://tfl.nu/l421

Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (598)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.

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(410): I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/e026

Replies (8) Good night (1800) Bad night (476)
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(512): View more from Texas

I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.

(519): View more from Ontario

If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.

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(512): I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself. (519): If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey. http://tfl.nu/1rre

Replies (158) Good night (1574) Bad night (969)
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(847): View more from Illinois

can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...

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(847): can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at... http://tfl.nu/sgdp

Replies (44) Good night (782) Bad night (7370)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked

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(812): I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked http://tfl.nu/576t

Replies (31) Good night (831) Bad night (9859)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

(732): View more from New Jersey

like it was yesterday

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(240): Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday http://tfl.nu/1org

Replies (20) Good night (11701) Bad night (1206)
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(301): View more from Maryland

It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form

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(301): It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form http://tfl.nu/mrkk

Replies (6) Good night (4436) Bad night (1014)
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(44): View more from United Kingdom

I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.

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(44): I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game. http://tfl.nu/cpwc

Replies (2) Good night (1366) Bad night (494)
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(585): View more from New York

The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...

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(585): The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean... http://tfl.nu/ugwg

Replies (13) Good night (596) Bad night (1410)
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(714): View more from California

sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!

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(714): sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER! http://tfl.nu/av7d

Replies (9) Good night (1214) Bad night (817)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"

(601): View more from Mississippi

God bless us, everyone.

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(228): I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!" (601): God bless us, everyone. http://tfl.nu/p8dj

Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (497)
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(560): View more from

I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.

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(560): I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do. http://tfl.nu/yx9v

Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (304)
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(434): View more from Virginia

This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.

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(434): This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair. http://tfl.nu/7doa

Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (945)
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(678): View more from Georgia

After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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(678): After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box". http://tfl.nu/z4mv

Replies (5) Good night (1416) Bad night (368)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.

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(708): Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job. http://tfl.nu/i4v1

Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (241)

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