UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls