What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want her autograph on my taint
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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