What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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