So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
