i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
