Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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