Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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