belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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