Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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