You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Can I color on your dick again?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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