Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
