I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Non-Jews are for practice
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize