some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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