Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
