how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
