with your own penis?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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