If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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