I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
