I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
