Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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