so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
