Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
