i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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